What do you cook with?

[J J Williams]

Unfortunately I can't even properly cook

I'm a real bad cook, so don't ask me to do some cooking

[Ehren]

I use a thing called 'mum'

[J J Williams]

Why I can't cook is because I'm too doubty and I set an oven + microwave on fire once

[Perry]

A spork.

[J J Williams]

LOL, a spoon/fork combo, what will they think of next? A knife/fork combo?